Review: Doc Water’s Pub (♦♦)

Trying to mail a cancelled stamp is punishable by up to a year in the brig, according to the 1923 U.S. maritime code. Cussing is good for three months. Propositioning a Negro? Don’t ask.

The tome doesn’t spell out a specific penalty for skipping out on a meal without paying, but the other stuff is sobering enough to quash thoughts of doing so at Doc Waters Pub. The antique book, one of many on the shelves at the wood-lined nautical entryway, is a suitable diversion during a quiet weekend brunch at a window table overlooking the waterfront. Only a few hours ago the soon-to-be-hungover, seeking nourishment to slow the pain, staggered out. A few minutes from now cruise ship passengers will ask if Docs has grits and biscuits as an unlisted menu item and if they can sit outside despite the rain since they don’t like the smell inside.

If there’s a lingering odor from the party it isn’t noticeable to our literary freak, who by now has abandoned yardarm justice for a thick text expounding on the wonders of the pocket calculator. More people come in wondering if they can have some item or other removed from the breakfast burritos (no, they’re made ahead of time). The coffee isn’t up to what can be found in to-go cups at several places a couple blocks away. But all in all, it’s an agreeable setting.

Docs is something of a Rorschach test, offering nearly any nosher what they might hope for in an experience. Pricey cuisine with light jazz, burgers and beer while watching the big screen (even if the Mideast conflict on CNN is a less than appetizing choice), Bloody Marys for breakfast, wasabi oysters at 3 a.m. There’s even a variety of catering from trays of deviled eggs with crab to sit-down plated meals. As a Jack-In-The-Box of all trades it usually meets and sometimes exceeds expectations, but isn’t really top-of-the-line in any particular area.

“Made for a good, but average, night out with friend,” one of us remarked after our initial night there. “Not an impressive date destination.”

He thought a table in the “Velvet Room” might change that last bit, which was full when we wandered in on a weeknight without reservations. So we got a booth in the Pub where the windows offer a first-class view of the parking lot across the street and the big-screen TV was showing non-stop carnage from the Middle East conflict on CNN. It wasn’t as intellectually stimulating as those yellowing pages on how to conduct a court marshal, but it helped fuel conversational topics such as establishing, no, Hezbollah guerillas aren’t the type to wear the intimidating uniforms we saw marching in formation.

Docs has its fans: one person called it her favorite restaurant and another rated it higher than Zen, the Asian eatery across the street that got three stars in our cumulative ratings (she was less impressed). It got positive scuttlebutt from some co-workers, including one happy to have a decent dining option during graveyard hours and another rightfully praising new chef Brady Deal as a noteworthy local talent. It’s a pub, so the booze selection is definitely good.

The setting is less appealing if you’re not bar hopping, with a general agreement it doesn’t match what Docs is trying to achieve on the higher end in the kitchen. One person said they have avoided it since last year due to poor service that seemed to assume it could survive on once-only visits from tourists, but there appears to be improvement in that area. You can say the setting is a letdown given the menu or praise the food as better than expected for the setting; they’re the pessimistic/optimistic sides of the same argument.

Perhaps the best thing about Doc’s cuisine is its consistency. During our first night there it was the only place in our short time of doing these reviews where every dish got remarks leaning toward the positive. The weakest entry was the 16-ounce gorgonzola ribeye ($27), topped with a savory combination of gorgonzola butter, shallots and ginger, but an ordinary piece of meat cooked to the ordered medium rare. The accompanying fettuccini with parmesan was undercooked and the grilled onions/peppers/mushroom side unremarkable (we might have thought it was meant as a topping if it didn’t come on other plates). Not a bad steak, but nowhere near as satisfying as the one we had at Zen last week.

A better meat choice was the daily special of bacon-wrapped caribou (we don’t remember the price, but it was in the steak’s range), two round pieces of flavorful meat that arrived rare (our server didn’t ask how we wanted it prepared). The bacon didn’t add much unless it played a role keeping the meat’s natural juices in during cooking.

Seafood dishes also went over well. The grilled halibut in adobo ($22) was an excellent example of making good use of a flexible fish. The halibut was fresh and grilled to the right degree of doneness. The menu lists it as prepared coconut adobo sauce, avacados, bell peppers, onions and tomatoes. But the key: “The sauce it came with was just the right thing,” said the diner behind that particular plate. “It was a mix of seasonings I could not identify.” Considering this person’s taste buds can identify flavors the way a musician with perfect pitch can identify notes, this is quite an achievement. The Sanso Ahi ($22), pan-seared with a crust of black sesame seeds and sansho, was pleasing and delicate in flavor and texture. The fettuccini underneath was OK but — like the saffron rice with the halibut and other sides — was mostly filler that didn’t enhance or detract.

Classic bar food, which takes up half the menu, is about half as expensive and satisfies in the way one would expect. The most positive feedback was for the beer-battered halibut and chips ($13), which uses Alaska Breaking Co. suds to lend further local credentials to a local fish. Burgers and sandwiches ($9-$13) offer various assemblys of beef, chicken, halibut and salmon, while salads with a Costco-quality base (that’s not a bad thing, really) include a caesar ($12, with chicken, salmon or halibut for $4 more, or ahi for $5), a pico chicken green salsa ($13) and a gorgonzola steak ($15).

Breakfast is much the same - pretty good with no real disappointments - as long as you’re in the mood for heavy grub. Two egg/lettuce/tomato breakfast burgers ($9 with bacon and cheese; $13 for halibut or salmon) were more than we were in the mood to stomach. But the saffron breakfast prawns ($13) are a worthy standout among the pedestrian selection, with the poached shrimp, eggs and saffron caper cream sauce over a baguette making for sort of an Alaskan eggs benedict. The country fries are fine wedges of real potatoes but not memorable, which is too bad since they come with every dish on the breakfast menu.

Still, for early grub there’s a few other places we’d hit first, depending on the mood. Same goes for post-midnight munchies, when stepping across the hall to get a takeout container of greasy Russian dumplings from Pel’ Meni is often more fitting for the mood. And that’s sort of the feeling about Docs overall: We can go there and count on having a good meal and a good time, but if we’re in the mood for something in particular there’s almost certainly going to be someplace else we’d prefer to get it. Given the prices of their entries, that’s not a great thing.

But there’d be no hesitation about making dinner plans there when a band is playing there we like or bringing relative there early in the evening if we wanted to show off the waterfront. Docs gets credit for being able to please many without resorting to Cheesecake Factory-like stunts of offering dozen or hundreds of mediocre dishes in an attempt to cover every possible mood and taste. And the potential meter is pointing up, a definite plus at a time when a number of nearby former favorites are in a noticeable decline.